Vera’s Bio:

I live in Copper Cliff in northern Ontario, Canada with my husband Ralph. We have one daughter, Chloe. The easiest thing in the world for me to do is to spin a yarn about the lives of my characters, but ask me about me, and I will stammer that I have been writing for fifteen years. The truth is I began writing when I was five years old; my first project was a cooking show script, spoken in gibberish which I pretended was French, as I concocted mud pies.

Currently, I write a humor column, From the Porch, published weekly in a Canadian newspaper. My work has been featured on CBC radio, Canada’s national radio broadcast, I have published features and personal essays in Canadian magazines and had short stories included in three anthologies. In the fall, my novella Diamond Day will be included in a new anthology along with several northern Ontario writers.

I read, I write, I breathe… it’s all connected.

Ten the Hard Way

By Vera Constantineau

 

I’ll give you ten reasons I liked John. I’ll make the list, check it twice. And at the end we'll know without a doubt who’s naughty and who’s nice.

The first time I laid eyes on him was in a restaurant. I looked around and this man was locked on me.

His eyes were hazel, his hair black as jet. He wore a company uniform with his name stitched on his pocket: John.

I always believed fair is fair, so when he stared at me, I stared back. He smiled at me. I swear, when that man smiled he used every pore of his body. He leaned toward me slightly and put everything he had into it. That smile was very exciting, it stirred something in me. It felt like a conversation.

That was the first reason to like John.

I don't remember who broke that gaze. I'd like to think it wasn't me—I’m no coward.

The very next night I went dancing with friends. The only table we could get was in front of the bar. Fluorescent lights shone intensely on my face. When I saw him I thought I was mistaken. I thought that it might be a trick of the light. But it wasn't. I was sitting beside my friend Nick. It said a lot about John that he would come to the table, Nick was six-foot four and looked like a steroid king.

John stood in front of me, said want to dance?

I did, so I said yes.

John was no coward either; he went for what he wanted. 

Reason two to like John.

The dance floor was crowded. We claimed the edge and turned toward each other. He put one hand around my waist and drew me towards him slowly, sensuously.

Reason three firmly written on my list.

He paused then raised my right hand to shoulder level. He tightened his right arm around my back. We just stood there like that looking into each other’s face. It didn’t feel weird at all. Then he asked me if the guy beside me was my boyfriend.

I said no.

He said that’s good and gave me another bone melting smile.

That's the fourth reason I liked John.

His arm tightened. He stepped forward taking me with him and we danced together beautifully. He was smooth; reason number five.

He told me he’d been to Nashville, danced in clubs there, I believed him.  We danced. Fast. Slow. It didn't matter he was a strong lead. We talked the whole time we were dancing and not just about him. The sixth reason I like John.

When the band took a break he walked me back to my friends and I sat down. He returned to his friends. I thought that might be it. That he would dance with someone else when the band came back. He didn't. He came back to me.

Reason number seven.

We danced, we talked, and we got to know each other. He was so right… reasons eight through ten.

When the final set was over he said most of the guys he was with knew he was married. They might tell his wife he’d been socializing.

This was the moment I began my second list.

Ten reasons I no longer liked John. A hard list and not one I am proud to scribble down.

Married, reason number one. Reason enough but he talked me into dinner. I had to wait outside while he checked that no one he knew was in the restaurant.

That’s reason number two.

We were compatible. We had fun. I pretended we weren’t hurting anyone.

I lied; I hurt my integrity, that’s reason number three.

After our third date he spent the night. He was a thorough participant.

He woke up almost the same time I did. I had my back to him and stayed quiet to savor the moment.

He farted.

Do you fart in the company of your mistress? Petty? Perhaps, but reason number four.

Later he explained about showing his wife pre-raise pay stubs and keeping the difference for walking around cash, reason number five.

He told me about his children, reasons six, seven, and eight.

He chatted about his wife… reason number nine.

When he was leaving he saw someone he knew and roughly pushed me behind the door. That's ten the hard way.

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