Wow! Women on Writing

Eight Ways to Romance Yourself, Writer-Style
By Christina Katz

I love my husband. I love my daughter. I love my family and friends. But this Valentine's Day they are not the only ones who deserve romancing. If I don't love myself, who is going to love them? If you're like me—feeling a little over-dosed on deadlines, taxes and "reality," join me for a little tenderness, writer-style.

1. Do nothing

Yes, I know. It's virtually impossible. But there is this great book by Veronique Vienne and Erica Lennard called The Art of Doing Nothing, Simple Ways to Make Time for Yourself. If you're not good at doing nothing, at least you can read about it.

2. Library, mon amour

Libraries are so–sigh–dreamy, don't you think? So treat yourself to a trip to the library just for pleasure. No thinking about research or deadlines or how to become the reference librarian's best friend. Just you, a couple of aimless hours and the joy of browsing…but don't forget your idea journal. Sometimes the best ideas pop when you're not trying. And on the way out, drop a couple "love notes" in the donation box. Libraries are still suffering from economic cutbacks.

3. Read junk

I always ask my writing students, "What's your favorite secret or "trashy" magazine (we won't tell anyone…) and why?" I got the idea from reading Julia Cameron's The Right to Write, An Invitation and Initiation into the Writing Life. What's yours? Go get it, pour yourself a nice hot bath and enjoy the latest scoop. Don't want your magazine to get soggy? Maybe you deserve a bathtub caddy complete with adjustable/removable reading rack, candleholder and wineglass holder. $29.99 from Bed Bath and Beyond.

4. Remember the topics you love

Popular writer-magazine-think says discern what editors, publishers and the public want in order to move ahead professionally. But you can put the "free" back in freelancer by paying closer attention to your instincts, developing your interests you and sharing them with others. Since you are the one coming up with the ideas, pick the ones that light your fire. List them now and keep expanding and referring back to your list so you'll be ready when it's time to make your next pitch. Post your list somewhere you'll see it often, like on the fridge. You'll see, your best ideas come from within.

5. Be very literary

Okay, this is the opposite of number three but just as pleasurable. Pick up a classic you always wanted to read or a recent literary bestseller and head to your favorite coffee shop. You won't be afraid to be seen in public with this baby. For quick lit, try Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck, The Lover by Marguerite Duras or Sula by Toni Morrison. And go ahead, order the most massive coffee drink to sip along with it. You're a literary giant, or at least, you read like one.

6. Think sexy

Write about the sexiest experience you ever had. Even if it was a sensuous experience with piece of fruit. Even if it didn't involve---gasp--your current partner. Even if you are alone on this Hallmark Holiday. Don't let anything stop you from exploring your steamy side. Tssst, look out.

7. Acts of love, past and present

Think about the most memorable acts of love ever offered to you. Now, think about the most memorable acts of love you have ever offered. Make a list of both. Can you find any writing ideas there? If not, that's okay. Just spread some of that extra warmth around.

8. The double-dog dare

Get a copy of your teenage-favorite coming of age novel and add it to your permanent collection. Can you say, "Are You There, God. It's Me, Margaret." or Deenie? Or try anything by Judith Krantz or Erica Jong. Oh my, I'm actually blushing. I double-dog dare you to find one of your old favorites and reread it.

Well, I don't know about you. But I feel a lot better now. Maybe what we all really need now is "a little love, sweet love," like the old Hal David song says. It sure can't hurt. Right. Happy V-Day, writers.

Christina Katz is the author of Writer Mama, How To Raise A Writing Career Alongside Your Kids (February, 2007, Writer's Digest Books). She has been doing just that for the past five years and has published over 200 articles in magazines, newspapers, and online publications. She teaches eight nonfiction-writing classes a year and is publisher and editor of the online monthly zine, Writers On The Rise, voted by Writer's Digest as one of the “101 Top Web Sites” for writers. Christina is a graduate of Dartmouth College and has an MFA in Fiction from Columbia College, Chicago. Visit www.writersontherise.com or www.christinakatz.com or www.thewritermama.com for the latest about Christina.